Me: "What do I tell people?"
Adam: "Um, Just kidding?"
So I couldn't find a better answer and I thought about deleting my previous post, but then come May 2010 people may wonder why I don't have a new baby. I could go into all kinds of details and blah, blah, blah, & TMI. But I'm just going to leave it at the fact that unfortunately I am no longer pregnant.
This past week has been full of so many emotions for me. I've felt too superstitious for telling the good news too early & buying some maternity clothes. I've felt guilty for drinking some caffeine, saying i didn't want to be pregnant yet, wearing pants that were too tight, and lifting things that were too heavy. Grief over the baby I really did want and was excited to bring to our family. I was embarrassed for using FB to tell 247 random people I've met over the last 29 years & on how handle the situation of telling the bad news. Grateful for the fact I was only 6 weeks and it wasn't my first pregnancy because I think I would have been even more devastated. I know that things just happen, it's natural and it's something that happens to a lot of people. It's still amazing to me how any of us can create such a complicated perfectly healthy little human baby. God just has different plans for my family right now.
With all those bad emotions the past week has also been filled with so much good. We finally moved into our new house. It has a beautiful view of the beach from every bedroom and both porches. I can sit on my porch swing and feel the gulf breeze and just relax. I am grateful that we have our own place to just be a family. We had Evan's 1st birthday party this weekend also. He loved his cake and all of his presents. I love that he has his own room and he just goes in there and entertains himself (well some of the time)!!! I love this little boy so much. he is the best thing in the world!! There is just too much good in my life right now to stay sad.
